Monopoly Money's too tight to mention

Thanks to Beau Bo D'or for the above picture which neatly sums up what everyone else is thinking about last week's A&E news.

You'd have to be pretty stupid to take evidence based arguments in favour of creating Super A&Es and twist them to fit your policy of shutting the smaller local A&Es..........let's watch Patsy try shall we?

Feed Back Time

Dr Informed cordially invites his adoring readership to let the Liberal Democrats know what they think about their antics in Bedford. In the name of British fair play, these scoundrels need to be told!

Why not click on this link to their discussion forum?

Liberal Democrats- Just as bent as the others?

Good old Dr Rant has made a rather unsettling discovery about the forthcoming electoral ding-dong in Bedford, destined to feature the heroic Dr Monk. Dr Informed has made his distain for Dr Monk's outrageous moral fortitude quite clear, but if there's one thing worse than rocking the boat - it's foul play!

It would appear that the day after Barry Monk announced his intentions, and the creation of a new political party called 'Save Bedford Hospital', the domain names 'savebedfordhospital' were registered by some Liberal Democrats, thus preventing Dr Monk's party from having their name on their website. Not only that, but the domain names in question now link to the Liberal Democrat candidate's web site.

Now not only is this highly questionable behaviour, but it runs contrary to the regulations that govern the registering of internet domain names. It's just not cricket I tell you!

With the bit firmly between his pearly white teeth, Dr Informed decided to 'prod' the offending Lib Dem scoundrels with a gentle email:

Dear Honourable and Noble Liberal Democrat Foot Soldier Salt-of-the-Earth types:

It would appear that you are the registrants of the following websites:

www.savebedfordhospital.co.uk
www.savebedfordhospital.com
www.savebedfordhospital.net

These websites were registered on the 18th of September 2006, and link directly to a Liberal Democrat website.

Here's the good bit:

There's a chap called Dr Barry Monk who works at the hospital. You may have heard of him. Well, he's announced his intention to contest the parliamentary seat at the next election in protest at the downgrading of Bedford Hospital. He announced the formation of a new party - the 'Save Bedford Hospital' party. You'll never guess what date he announced that! Go on, have a guess! What was that?

Yes! It was the 17th of September 2006. Astonishing coincidence isn't it?

Now, I'm a mild mannered chap, but some people have claimed that this is a cynical and underhanded ploy on your part to interrupt Dr Monk's campaign - how cynical is that. However, what you've done could well be considered 'behaviour in breech of the ICANN regulations on the registration of domain names'. Here's my favourite bit:

(iv) by using the domain name, you have intentionally attempted to attract, for commercial gain, Internet users to your web site or other on-line location, by creating a likelihood of confusion with the complainant's mark as to the source, sponsorship, affiliation, or endorsement of your web site or location or of a product or service on your web site or location.

Oh dear! Have a look at the rest on Dr Rant's blog - www.drrant.net

So what happens now? Well, it's all about to kick off from what I hear, and it won't be very pretty for the Liberal Democrats in Bedford - quite counter productive you could say, especially if it all gets a bit mucky (if you know what I mean). If I were you I would consider quietly handing over the domain names to Dr Monk (if he so wishes) and keep your heads down. It's a good job the Conservatives didn't register 'www.libdems.org.uk' before you guys isn't it?

Yours with the deepest of affection


Dr Informed

Barry: Don't be a hero!

Watch Out! Barry's Rocking the Boat again.

You may recall Dr Informed's previous advice to Dr Monk. Well this time, I fear he may have gone too far. If he carries on this manner, then the Government might stop listening to the medical profession when formulating health policy. Without the guiding hand of our profession, Health Policy could become based on poorly thought out, politically driven knee-jerk directives based on dogma rather than evidence. Where would we be then?

Dr Monk's campaign group have release today released a strongly worded press release which will prove highly embassing to the government should it be widely circulated. It's a good job that not many people read Dr Informed's blog then isn't it, because here it is:


So this is how it works

Two weeks ago, senior managers at Bedford Hospital, a former three star NHS Trust, now labouring under crippling debts, were called in by the East of England Strategic Health Authority for a dressing down. The message was unambiguous – they were not being sufficiently radical in closing services in a vain attempt to balance the books; having four wards shut (and another to go in January), over a hundred unfilled vacancies, and one in seven of the workforce on redundancy notices was not sufficient.

One particular reason for the SHA’s ire was the discomfiture being generated by the Save Bedford Campaign, and its vociferous leader, consultant dermatologist Dr Barry Monk. His campaign was first launched on 17th September amidst a storm of publicity. Health minister, Patricia Hewitt, accompanied by the chief Executive of the NHS David Nicholson, visited Bedford in an attempt to damp down concerns. Their visit was not an unmitigated success. Later that month, The Guardian described Bedford as Patricia Hewitt’s “worst nightmare”, and the BBC’s Politics Show said that the local Labour MP, Patrick Hall, defending a majority of just over 3000, was “a dead man walking”.

Clearly then, the SHA, no doubt under instructions from the Department of Health, expected something appropriate to be done to remedy the situation. This week, Bedford Hospital has done what expected of it, and in a document entitled “Defining Our Future Role” have indicated that Dr Monk’s highly regarded department is not required.

Dr Monk commented “ the dermatology department at Bedford Hospital deals with patients who are affected by severe skin disorders which cannot be adequately managed in the community; we are highly regarded by our patients, and by our local GPs, we meet every government target, and we actually generate income for the Trust., so one an only speculate as what motivates these proposals.”

He continued “in the NHS we have become used to irrational decision making, but when personal spite is allowed to intrude, something has gone very seriously wrong.”

Dr Monk is undeterred; indeed his campaign to obtain proper local provision of healthcare for the people of Bedford is being carried forward with renewed vigour.

Ouch! I hope for the sake of calmness and the status quo that Barry's campaign group don't get a website and and a 'corporate identity', because then the proverbial really might hit the fan!

GPs to blame again!

Doctors yet again in the firing line, this time due to an ambulance crew undertaking an uneccesary 400 mile round trip in an Ambulance (although the story actually involves GPS sattelite navigation, rather than General Practicioners, we're so used to being bashed in the press that you'll have to excuse a little paranoia). The supposed 12 mile patient transfer between Brentford and Ilford in Essex went slightly wrong, with the ambulance ending up in Manchester.

Apparently the crew hadn't realised they were being being led up the garden path, despite subtle clues (like Birmingham).

In a disturbing twist, several local 'personal injury lawyers' are to sue the Ambulance trust for wasted time, because what should only have been a brief ambulance chase took 8 hours.

Money For Nothing!

Oh what a tease! Earlier this year it was widely reported that ‘top GPs’ could earn up to £250,000’. Dr Informed is widely renowned as a top GP, so he was more than justified in anticipating a few extra pennies in recognition of his all round ‘good-eggness’, especially as he has been victorious for the past two years running in the local BMA division’s stroke play golf competition.

You can therefore imagine that it has come as something of a shock to find out from the BBC that this year he will only get £106,000. He wishes he’d known this before he’d let Mrs Informed run amuck in the local Range Rover dealership, and wishes that the BBC would think before simply regurgitation any old figures that it gets told.

If one looks at this figure for the ‘average GP’, it translates to roughly £50 per registered patient per year before tax, a figure your private dentist must be going green with envy over. Not only that, but working only 45 hours per week before admin and paperwork leaves the majority of one’s time free to play golf*. The charmed life doesn’t finish there, as us GPs also have the added benefit of running and administrating our own businesses, paying our own staff and often having large mortgages on our premises. We also have the great comfort of knowing that the government can effectively gift our business to large foreign ‘Healthcare’ companies any time it so chooses.

So, when one looks at it objectively, £106,000 pounds is really still an obscene amount of money. Even Dr Informed doesn’t think that his 6 years of university, three degrees, 6 years in hospitals doing 100 hour weeks and a decade or so of looking after a few thousand people makes him worth in a year what most Chelsea Footballers earn in a fortnight. Neither does he consider himself the equal of ‘management consultants’ because it takes a special type of person to do that job when they could actually be running their own successful business, as opposed to helping organisations like the NHS in such a selfless and highly valuable way.

I want my, I want my, I want my MTV......


*Assuming that sleep and family are optional.

Dr Google - 1 Dr Informed - 0

Hats off to Google. You may have seen the recent revelation in the press that doctors are using Google to help make diagnoses. Dr Informed has been using Google for years, and finds it a particularly useful tool for explaining to patients what is wrong with them with the aid of pretty pictures from a Google images search.

Today Dr Informed diagnosed a common condition called molluscum contagiosum in a 7 year old boy, and whilst reasurring 'mum' about the innocent nature of this common viral 'wart like' condition, he thought that pictures would help.

Unfortunately, when molluscum contagiosum was entered into Google's image search bar, some pictures of various parts of the anatomy that can be considered rather inapropriate for 7 year olds were displayed. Thankfully the young chap's mother found it as amusing as Dr Informed. The young chap remained blisfully ignorant of what was going on.

Lessons have been learnt. The GMC gestapo are mobilising. The Daily Mail is going apoplectic with righteous moral outrage as we speak.

Dr Informed at the Movies

“The NHS, and with it the future of New Labour is under threat – and one woman has 24 hours to save it.”

Nightmare on NHS street (18 cert 125 minutes)

Michael Winner makes a triumphant return to form with this ‘driller-killer-slasher’ adaptation of a Michael Barrymore political thriller screenplay. The Secretary of State for Health, Patsy Fuckwit (portrayed by a gritty Kylie Minogue), is faced with the unenviable task of simultaneously battling the Forces of Conservatism, and the Medical Profession led by Dr Harold Boatman (Alan Rickman- below) whilst trying to stop he New Labour Project from becoming derailed.

The evil doctors do everything in their dastardly power to obstruct Patsy’s reforms, putting choice and patient safety in serious peril. We see them callously murdering patients and not washing their hands.

The love interest is provided by Prof Liam Doughnutson (played by Jim Davidson- below) who is torn between Patsy, and Dame Janet Smith (Bella Emberg) in a bizarre and psychologically disturbing love triangle. Eventually love and justice prevail, but not before much doctor bashing.

The laughs are provided by a charming cameo appearance by John Prescott, playing with himself, who eventually realises that Patsy is not that kind of Secretary, with hilarious results.

This film really is a must see, and with Cannes and the Oscars just around the corner, the critics are already predicting that it will be this year’s runaway success.

Gerrymandering and the Pacemaker Clinics

Dr Informed would like to introduce you to the late Elbridge Gerry (above), a trailblazing pioneer of electoral fraud, whose actions spawned a new word; ‘Gerrrymandering’. This simple concept involves redrawing the boundaries on electoral districts to favour the people or party doing the ‘redrawing’.

Now, never let it be said that Britain, as the oldest parliamentary democracy in the world, plays second fiddle to the Americans when it comes to ‘new ideas in democratic experimentation’; we can be justly proud of our own Dame Shirley Porter. However, it appears that we can also include our current Government in this illustrious list. What is even more impressive is that they have eschewed the concept of simply redrawing maps or bribing voters, and are actively ‘managing’ the resources of the NHS in order to favour people who vote Labour, who by definition must be worthy souls – not like those nasty old Tory voting voluntary workers down at the WRVS. Dr Informed stands in bewildered awe at the brazen genius of it all, and the manner in which it firmly drives a wedge the size of John Prescott’s arse between the concepts of ‘what is RIGHT’, and ‘what is LEGAL’. In other words, there is nothing that anyone can do about it.

As regular readers will know, Dr Informed is quick to forgive the occasional blunder or one off transgression, but even his forgiving eyes have spotted what can only be described as a ‘trend’. One suspects that ‘old Labour’ would have simply sought to promote equality by impoverishing the middle classes, in this case by shutting their hospitals. However, the ultra-sophisticated New Labour also showers it’s voters with new PFI hospitals - a good old fashioned bribe if ever there was one!

So who is the modern day heir to Elbridge Gerry’s dubious throne? It would appear we have two: Patsy Fuckwit The ‘Rt Hon’ Patricia Hewitt and Rosie Winterton MP (Junior Health Minister), who is incidentally also a surprise new entry at number 5 on my ‘Top Establishment Heroes'® list.

Now Dr Informed is all for spending money on Health where the need exists, but it’s the nature of the people defining the need in this case that makes the whole sorry state of affairs smell like John Prescott’s arse.

The 'Auntie' strikes back

Dear oh dear! It's not been a good week for health journalists over at the dear old 'Auntie Beeb'. Not content with accusing Wolverhampton eye specialists of abandoning their patients to jet off to Las Vegas for a jolly at the tax payer's expense (a story inelegantly back-tracked from during the day in piecemeal fashion), they have now been duped into doing advertising work for a formula baby feed manufacturer - as chronicled so adeptly by the incomparable Dr Crippen.

It obviously didn't occur to anyone that the 'press release' from Act Against Allergy that they swallowed hook, line and sinker was meerly a thinly veiled advertising stunt for the manufacturers of a very expensive formula feed that is prescribable on the NHS.

This story even appeared on BBC Breakfast television news, much to Dr Informed's disbelief, as it prompted Mrs Informed to accuse her husband of 'misdiagnosing' their youngest child who ' in retrospect was obviously allergic to cow's milk'. This makes the man very angry indeed!

Dr Informed is a staunch supporter of the BBC normally, but descending to Daily Mail standards of journalistic integrity and rigor is not the way to justify the latest licence fee increase is it?