“Hospital closures and new Modern Matrons
PFI ventures with capitalist patrons
MMC bollocks, the chaos it brings
These are a few of my favourite things.
When the polls fall, when the shit sticks,
when I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
and then I don't feel so bad.”
The Sound Of Bullshit (18 cert 9 years, 490 minutes)
The glory days of musical cinema have returned with this enchanting portrayal of love, incompetence, contempt, ineptitude, corruption, dogma, incompetence and more love. Tony B Liar and director Patsy Fuckwitt have produced a masterpiece which more than does justice to the score and lyrics penned by the creative powerhouse of F.O. Klaus, A. Kidney-Freak and C.R. Mudgeon.
Beautifully filmed on location in Whitehall and Cloud-Cuckoo Land, the film gives a masterful insight into the surreal world of health policy. The songs punctuate the drama and give endearing depth to the lead characters, including a classic reworking of the traditional ‘cuddly-Nazi’ song ‘Edelweiss’
Every morning I beat thee,
I take care
To be unfair
at every turn, then smile sweetly.
Nobody wants what we're forcing through
So what? I couldn't care less,
I'm in a mood,
So you're all screwed,
And you get blamed for the mess.
The lead performance by Patricia Hewitt is a master class of oblivious, patronising pontification of the caliber we have come to expect from her.
The highlight of the movie has to be a Hewitt cheering up a group of young management consultants with the rousing ‘Doh! Oh Dear!’:
Doh! Oh dear! Ah me! Oh dear!
Re-pay all the debts at once!
Me? Ashamed? I tell myself
Far too late the rots begun
So I needn't live in dread
La-bour voters follow still
T. B.'s out his fucking head
And that brings us back to Doh!
You really must see this film, which is destined to become regarded as a classic, even by heterosexual men.