Friday, December 15, 2006

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Patricia?

“Hospital closures and new Modern Matrons
PFI ventures with capitalist patrons
MMC bollocks, the chaos it brings
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the polls fall, when the shit sticks,
when I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
and then I don't feel so bad.”

The Sound Of Bullshit (18 cert 9 years, 490 minutes)

The glory days of musical cinema have returned with this enchanting portrayal of love, incompetence, contempt, ineptitude, corruption, dogma, incompetence and more love. Tony B Liar and director Patsy Fuckwitt have produced a masterpiece which more than does justice to the score and lyrics penned by the creative powerhouse of F.O. Klaus, A. Kidney-Freak and C.R. Mudgeon.

Beautifully filmed on location in Whitehall and Cloud-Cuckoo Land, the film gives a masterful insight into the surreal world of health policy. The songs punctuate the drama and give endearing depth to the lead characters, including a classic reworking of the traditional ‘cuddly-Nazi’ song ‘Edelweiss’

Every morning I beat thee,
I take care
To be unfair
at every turn, then smile sweetly.
Nobody wants what we're forcing through
So what? I couldn't care less,
I'm in a mood,
So you're all screwed,
And you get blamed for the mess.

The lead performance by Patricia Hewitt is a master class of oblivious, patronising pontification of the caliber we have come to expect from her.

The highlight of the movie has to be a Hewitt cheering up a group of young management consultants with the rousing ‘Doh! Oh Dear!’:

Doh! Oh dear! Ah me! Oh dear!
Re-pay all the debts at once!
Me? Ashamed? I tell myself
Far too late the rots begun
So I needn't live in dread
La-bour voters follow still
T. B.'s out his fucking head
And that brings us back to Doh!

You really must see this film, which is destined to become regarded as a classic, even by heterosexual men.


The Screamer said...

Oh love it, love it. love it!!

I feel an urge to make a little film to go with your pictures, ala nurse quack remix........

I missed your blog yesterday.... kept getting a blank screen and thought the LibDems might have hacked your blog........ but you're BACk with more brillance and i'm very happy :)

Dr Informed said...

Thangyuvermuch Maam!

Dr K said...

Brilliant. I think I've ruptured something.....

The Screamer said...

But now more importantly........ 'How do we solve a problem like HospitalPhoenix?' :(

Apart from missing him terribly and worrying... JUSt a now going to have to change all the sodding links to his blog on mine lol

At least his Nurse Quack clips are still on YouTube........

Anonymous said...

Love left this song out:

"Climb every staircase,drop dead at the top,Patsy saves a bundle, please don't ever stop.

"Take a drink of poison,drop dead with your glass,Patsy saves a bundle,it has come to pass"

"A Health Scheme that will need all the money you can give,every day of your life,for as long as you live"

"Wrestle with a tiger,make your death worthwhile,Patsy saves a bundle,make a crocodile smile".