Wednesday, December 20, 2006

We're all doomed!

Just when you thought that people couldn't be any more stupid, it has been decided by somebody that NHS Direct should be made available through digital TV.

That's bloody great. Yet another way to wait 2 hours for a nurse with a computer to phone you back and tell you to see your GP or go to A&E.


The Angry Medic said...

Ah but my good man, don't you see the genius of their plan? People are so accustomed to watching TV like zombies without complaint that the 2-hour wait will now seem normal to them, which in turn will reduce complaints about NHS Direct, which in turn will allow Patsy to give us more "best year ever" crap!

It's absolute brilliance, I tell you.

Anonymous said...

A bit of a problem, can't get digital TV where I live.

Dr Informed said...

I think it's all an eloborate ruse to justify the existence of 'NHS go Directly to hospital'.

You student types will recognise this scenario:

1) Been down the union last night - snake bite Pernod and black+++ (headache)
2) Playfight outside the kebab shop (stiff neck)
3) It's 11.30 am, so you might as well open the curtains (photophobia).

To you and I that says hangover. To an NHS Direct nurse with a 'protocol' and a computer that's meningitis! - go directly to hospital do not pass go etc.

It only costs hundreds of millions of pounds per year to run....

Anonymous said...

A link would be good?

Anyway, I seem to recall some crappy NHS channel on Satellite TV, dont know wtf its about though???

Hey, at least you can watch your favourite programs while you wait rather than listen to some cheesy song?

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I obviously blind and didnt see the link? My bad.

Anonymous said...

"In all, 2.5 million people currently use NHS Direct every month - with 75% accessing it through the website or digital TV."

Clearly the figures for accesses via digital TV are tiny otherwise they would not have needed to include the website figures to get 75%.

Why doesn't anyone at the BBC ask the obvious question. "How many access it through digitial TV?"

heidikraut said...

It's more of the TESCO society, isn't it? I'm sick now and I want treatment now! There's nothing on the telly so I can worry about my in-growing toenail. The combination of a population whose expectations have reached ridiculous heights along with a government that has plumbed atrocious depths means more and more of this shit. God, I hate this shit because it makes me feel like an old Daily Mail reader.

Dr Informed said...


What's the German equivalent of the Daily Mail, or is it in a peculiarly British class of it's own?

heidikraut said...

I'm not really sure if there is a German equivalent - I suspect it's one of those things that you only know about if you are of that particular nationality - I find it difficult to explain to my non-UK friends just what it is that is so dreadful about the Daily Mail. Anyway, wishing you a lovely Christmas and should the fog ever clear over Heathrow then I'll be back in the UK able to phone NHS Direct with my Boxing Day indigestion and hangover.

Dr Informed said...

Happy Christmas Heidi

1-10 says that NHS Direct will diagnose your gouty toe as a brain tumour!

I will be furiously formulating novel excuses to get on the golf course whilst simultaneously ploughing through the extraordinary number of bottles of wine and whisky thrust apon me by my adoring patients!

Bill said...

I would like to see an interactive game on NHS TV. A bit like pac man, except the Pac Man is a doctor, and the ghosts are hospital managers.

I am not sure what the powerpills would be though.

Bill on the Twilight Shift

Faith Walker said...

Hello there-

I've used NHS direct twice.

Once, I waited 4 hours for a call back (which then made it gone midnight) and was told to either a) go to a+e, alone and cold at 1am. or b) Go to see the out of hours GP which was a 20 min drive from my house. I can't drive. Its 1am. How about no way.

I waited, and when to walk in centre the next day. NHS direct wanted me to get an ambulance when i point blank refused.

Oh dear!